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transomwhiplassEDIT: DON'T READ UNLESS EXTREMELY BORED..... THIS DOESN'T MAKE SENSE AT ALL..... READ THE MORE RECENT POST: SUMS UP.... THIS IS JUST JABBER... ^_^
Something Peter said made me remember something I wrote down during the fight that seemed to have ended it all... I was reading for history and came across this from Thomas Paine "[Its] the strangest religion ever setup, it committed a murder upon Jesus in order to redeem mankind for the sin of eating an apple." I found that really amusing.. I know from years of sunday school and theology classes that there is a lot more to be read into that... but is there really? Peter (n.b. this is basically a very long comment that I didn't feel like crowding his journal with.. plus it may include a tangent here and there so it probably should be here anyway) spoke of his decision that he will live his life strictly for god.. I sometimes wonder if he will become a priest.. I mean, afterall.. isn't that the step taken to completely devote your life to god? I also just had an interesting thought tied to that career, but nevertheless.
On being saved, being a personal savior and what not: Just thinking here.. but with Christian logic.. that everything god does is the right thing.. and he can do no wrong.... jesus was perfect.... jesus was a savior... we are not perfect (as peter states) so how can we be saviors? maybe I am thinking to much about this or missing something.... I always found catholicism (the class) to be extremely contradictory... of course.... that is probably 99.9999999999999% to do with Mr. Miller... everything he said was an oxymoron, practically.... I wonder what we actually should have learned... but we did learn about grace and being in the image of god.. so being naturally good... and whatnot.... the rules of infallibility..... the rules.... always rules... always interpretations... always changes.... always a reason I turned from christianity.. which I will try to talk about later.. but back to the point: ..... is there really a point to be made? Who saves us.. how are we saved... people argue today these things.. no one knows for sure... I just wonder.. are we actually saved? peter says that this is a sad way of life.. and I have to agree with him.. but I do anyway
About becoming and being an atheist: Things drove me to this... a series of factors.... it was never really a rebellion against anyone... it happened in steps, gradually.. I just decided.. there was no way I could believe in it. Even pre-Miller.. I knew Catholicisim and Christianity was contradictory... by the age of 10 I had already had enough living to have a perception of the world... several things bothered me about the religion itself: how could something so simple.... become something so complex? How could something with few rules... could grow to something so binding? We interpret... what happened some thousand years ago.... "God said this...... so it means that being gay is wrong" "Jesus did this... so we cannot do this" we built rules for ourselves to live... and I can't stop thinking about why we jail ourselves... why would we?? The universe started off with rules... gravity, intertia.. etc.. we are bound to it naturally.... for some reason... we just... made up more, limiting ourselves everyday... I see this on the scale over many hundreds of years... and even today as I watch peter choose to believe certain things.. it has seriously drawn me to the opinion on people in general: we make rules to hide something... to cover it up from the world. Ex. using induction, tallman would be proud as long as I'm not mixing it up with deduction: mary said she could never cry again... she hides her pain from the world, parents make rules for their children.. to hide the pain of the world and to protect from dangerous experiences that would warp a childs mind, society makes rules... so that they can hide their nonconformities... if something isn't socially accepted... you won't do it... you can't.. I mean... face the shun of your peers..., so I don't know.. I do have my beliefs that rules are necessary.... without them... there would be chaos: planets would swing around without direction so would everything else, we could never start, we could never stop... things would go nowhere... as I am typing.. i am actually thinking so excuse me for the weird tangent... the world just started off with those rules: things will follow a certain motion, they can start, they can stop ... how did that become "minors must obey curfew" "though shall not covet thy neighbor's possessions" "people cannot urinate in public"? To avoid a chaos that we create for ourselves... this is so off topic ... well.... but seriously.... how much is god's doing? K.... that was messed up.... but everyday... we can't do something.... there are billions of rules... just popped off of 10 right? we do this to protect ourselves maybe... yeah.. not so much hide... but protect ourselves from want we don't want .... we dont want chaos as a people: we dont want people peeing everywhere... we dont want kids acting out at night... we dont want people wanting to take our stuff.... god didnt want us to do those 10 things, eh? where did he get those ideas??? where?? he was supposedly there.... and there was nothing.... he just made it, right? so why would he choose just those things?? I mentioned it before that those were actually just supposed to be for the jews.. like... "though shall not kill [another jew]" etc.. mr buckley told us that and it has never left me.... i just think... that if god was so cosmic...... the world wouldnt be so simple and petty..... earlier I thought it was so complex... but thinking out loud has made me realize... its so not... its so simple..... my dad was reading an article earlier... "tree sitter dies falling out of tree.... suspected cause of death: gravity" .. lol.. but yeah... so this probably mad absolutely NO sense.. sorry, I apologize for the way my mind works.... but I see now.... hey... the cavemen ran around doing anything they pleased: they slept around.. haha.... male domination begins.... harems.... etc.... lol.... they stole from others all the time to survive... stealing a fresh kill from the other caveman... natural selection.... survival of the fittest.... the most aggressive survives.... they didn't know about rules.. but you know... stuff happens... language developed: rules of speech..... writing developed: the standards and set alphabets... we did this to ourselves in my mind..... they worshipped trees... they didn't know about god..... THEY WORSHIPED TREES AND THE WIND AND THE SUN.... anything that gave to them..... then some how pantheism.. became panentheism.... then personification of these essences.... then monotheism.... POOF..... we have jesus..... now we have a hundred or so denominations...... does anything I say make sense...... does it have a standard line of reason.... or anything that works togehter.... to I make a point..... aren't I contradicting myself???? NO NO NO NO YES..... this is one reason I am an atheist.... nothing makes sense.... except what we know for sure..... everything we believe isn't believed by someone else.... it just falls down to that... we can never prove god... in christian logic.. I need proof to believe, there is no proof thus I cannot believe..... sorry.... I just don't feel that blind.....
one experiment I came up with: if you placed an infant in a white room... and more or less cut it off from all of society.... what would happen?? you provide it with basic living..... but what has become of true human instinct?? if you then brought the baby later as an adult into society.... what would happen?? it has been cut off from hate and has been untarnished from the flawed world... but yet, it has not experienced love or anything good society gives..... what would that be like? I've always wondered....
Peter said that being an atheist must be sad life... just going off the world, just not existing, just living a pointless life... uhm.... but... yes.... to the point of death? hehe.. why are we born do die is an essay ms tallman gave us.... I'm not very coherent in my thoughts because I can only write down so much and every second my thoughts change..... I never make up my mind.... and I make a point not to. I don't think that living without god is sad at all..... I do not feel his love... I truly, never did.... or at least understood that it was his... like a child who grows up with one parent..... the other isn't there.. they never knew that love... so how could they really miss it? I never feel bad about not believing in god.... ever.... I just don't... I just don't think he exists.... I don't feel bad about not believing in mickey mouse.. because I know he doesnt exist.... it never bothered me once.... what did, was living a sham and having people force things down my throat.... back to the baby in the white room.... would he know of god?? would he ever get to that conclusion?? it took millions of years to get there..... I think we all need to believe in something though... peter does hit the point in my mind.... he wants to live for what he believes in...... its what we all do.... mizu believes in friends... etc..... that is what I think the point of life is.... other that just sort of a cosmic accident... chemical combinations... the big bang.. the expanding universe.... the special planetary alignment... photosynthesis...water..... life... what keeps us alive... is just the will to live.... what drives our will, is that which makes us believe.... for me... as weird as this is... my point in life.... is finding the point of my life.... if I didn't live to find it... I never possibly could.... this is all getting very weird and philisophical... but it is waht I believe.... I believe everyone has a point in life..... and I believe that is why we live.... just to find it... nothing more that that... its pure.... and simple.... no rules except that which the natural world gives us... as in the beginning....
but that brings up the point: if the point of living has to do with god.... and it took millions of years for the modern man to find god... how could it?
its funny thinking about this stuff... I like to.... I change my mind every second which is why a lot of this stuff contradicts... I just like putting thoughts into words.... as I say this stuff.. I see how people can believe in god..... but I still see why people like me can't....
I suppose I should sum up this and just state where I've gotten from this massacre of words:
I never regret not believing in god, I think that living a life believing in god is just as sad as peter sees living a life without him, I never appreciated the cramming of religion in my childhood: maybe if my parents were more relgious, no? but then it comes down to... does the individual believe.. or does he belive because he is taught to believe? would peter have believed all this if he would have had my parents? this was n.b. the root of my headless chicken comment ...
in a way... isn't it funny how christianity spreads..... much like a virus..... instilled in one, it steathily moves to more..... its funny.... another natural rule of the world at work
sorry... the incoherency continues.... so does this post...... I really didnt get anywhere.. by thinking... I believe in coincidences... truly... things just happen.... those cause more things to happen.... hehe... thinking is fun
Something Peter said made me remember something I wrote down during the fight that seemed to have ended it all... I was reading for history and came across this from Thomas Paine "[Its] the strangest religion ever setup, it committed a murder upon Jesus in order to redeem mankind for the sin of eating an apple." I found that really amusing.. I know from years of sunday school and theology classes that there is a lot more to be read into that... but is there really? Peter (n.b. this is basically a very long comment that I didn't feel like crowding his journal with.. plus it may include a tangent here and there so it probably should be here anyway) spoke of his decision that he will live his life strictly for god.. I sometimes wonder if he will become a priest.. I mean, afterall.. isn't that the step taken to completely devote your life to god? I also just had an interesting thought tied to that career, but nevertheless.
On being saved, being a personal savior and what not: Just thinking here.. but with Christian logic.. that everything god does is the right thing.. and he can do no wrong.... jesus was perfect.... jesus was a savior... we are not perfect (as peter states) so how can we be saviors? maybe I am thinking to much about this or missing something.... I always found catholicism (the class) to be extremely contradictory... of course.... that is probably 99.9999999999999% to do with Mr. Miller... everything he said was an oxymoron, practically.... I wonder what we actually should have learned... but we did learn about grace and being in the image of god.. so being naturally good... and whatnot.... the rules of infallibility..... the rules.... always rules... always interpretations... always changes.... always a reason I turned from christianity.. which I will try to talk about later.. but back to the point: ..... is there really a point to be made? Who saves us.. how are we saved... people argue today these things.. no one knows for sure... I just wonder.. are we actually saved? peter says that this is a sad way of life.. and I have to agree with him.. but I do anyway
About becoming and being an atheist: Things drove me to this... a series of factors.... it was never really a rebellion against anyone... it happened in steps, gradually.. I just decided.. there was no way I could believe in it. Even pre-Miller.. I knew Catholicisim and Christianity was contradictory... by the age of 10 I had already had enough living to have a perception of the world... several things bothered me about the religion itself: how could something so simple.... become something so complex? How could something with few rules... could grow to something so binding? We interpret... what happened some thousand years ago.... "God said this...... so it means that being gay is wrong" "Jesus did this... so we cannot do this" we built rules for ourselves to live... and I can't stop thinking about why we jail ourselves... why would we?? The universe started off with rules... gravity, intertia.. etc.. we are bound to it naturally.... for some reason... we just... made up more, limiting ourselves everyday... I see this on the scale over many hundreds of years... and even today as I watch peter choose to believe certain things.. it has seriously drawn me to the opinion on people in general: we make rules to hide something... to cover it up from the world. Ex. using induction, tallman would be proud as long as I'm not mixing it up with deduction: mary said she could never cry again... she hides her pain from the world, parents make rules for their children.. to hide the pain of the world and to protect from dangerous experiences that would warp a childs mind, society makes rules... so that they can hide their nonconformities... if something isn't socially accepted... you won't do it... you can't.. I mean... face the shun of your peers..., so I don't know.. I do have my beliefs that rules are necessary.... without them... there would be chaos: planets would swing around without direction so would everything else, we could never start, we could never stop... things would go nowhere... as I am typing.. i am actually thinking so excuse me for the weird tangent... the world just started off with those rules: things will follow a certain motion, they can start, they can stop ... how did that become "minors must obey curfew" "though shall not covet thy neighbor's possessions" "people cannot urinate in public"? To avoid a chaos that we create for ourselves... this is so off topic ... well.... but seriously.... how much is god's doing? K.... that was messed up.... but everyday... we can't do something.... there are billions of rules... just popped off of 10 right? we do this to protect ourselves maybe... yeah.. not so much hide... but protect ourselves from want we don't want .... we dont want chaos as a people: we dont want people peeing everywhere... we dont want kids acting out at night... we dont want people wanting to take our stuff.... god didnt want us to do those 10 things, eh? where did he get those ideas??? where?? he was supposedly there.... and there was nothing.... he just made it, right? so why would he choose just those things?? I mentioned it before that those were actually just supposed to be for the jews.. like... "though shall not kill [another jew]" etc.. mr buckley told us that and it has never left me.... i just think... that if god was so cosmic...... the world wouldnt be so simple and petty..... earlier I thought it was so complex... but thinking out loud has made me realize... its so not... its so simple..... my dad was reading an article earlier... "tree sitter dies falling out of tree.... suspected cause of death: gravity" .. lol.. but yeah... so this probably mad absolutely NO sense.. sorry, I apologize for the way my mind works.... but I see now.... hey... the cavemen ran around doing anything they pleased: they slept around.. haha.... male domination begins.... harems.... etc.... lol.... they stole from others all the time to survive... stealing a fresh kill from the other caveman... natural selection.... survival of the fittest.... the most aggressive survives.... they didn't know about rules.. but you know... stuff happens... language developed: rules of speech..... writing developed: the standards and set alphabets... we did this to ourselves in my mind..... they worshipped trees... they didn't know about god..... THEY WORSHIPED TREES AND THE WIND AND THE SUN.... anything that gave to them..... then some how pantheism.. became panentheism.... then personification of these essences.... then monotheism.... POOF..... we have jesus..... now we have a hundred or so denominations...... does anything I say make sense...... does it have a standard line of reason.... or anything that works togehter.... to I make a point..... aren't I contradicting myself???? NO NO NO NO YES..... this is one reason I am an atheist.... nothing makes sense.... except what we know for sure..... everything we believe isn't believed by someone else.... it just falls down to that... we can never prove god... in christian logic.. I need proof to believe, there is no proof thus I cannot believe..... sorry.... I just don't feel that blind.....
one experiment I came up with: if you placed an infant in a white room... and more or less cut it off from all of society.... what would happen?? you provide it with basic living..... but what has become of true human instinct?? if you then brought the baby later as an adult into society.... what would happen?? it has been cut off from hate and has been untarnished from the flawed world... but yet, it has not experienced love or anything good society gives..... what would that be like? I've always wondered....
Peter said that being an atheist must be sad life... just going off the world, just not existing, just living a pointless life... uhm.... but... yes.... to the point of death? hehe.. why are we born do die is an essay ms tallman gave us.... I'm not very coherent in my thoughts because I can only write down so much and every second my thoughts change..... I never make up my mind.... and I make a point not to. I don't think that living without god is sad at all..... I do not feel his love... I truly, never did.... or at least understood that it was his... like a child who grows up with one parent..... the other isn't there.. they never knew that love... so how could they really miss it? I never feel bad about not believing in god.... ever.... I just don't... I just don't think he exists.... I don't feel bad about not believing in mickey mouse.. because I know he doesnt exist.... it never bothered me once.... what did, was living a sham and having people force things down my throat.... back to the baby in the white room.... would he know of god?? would he ever get to that conclusion?? it took millions of years to get there..... I think we all need to believe in something though... peter does hit the point in my mind.... he wants to live for what he believes in...... its what we all do.... mizu believes in friends... etc..... that is what I think the point of life is.... other that just sort of a cosmic accident... chemical combinations... the big bang.. the expanding universe.... the special planetary alignment... photosynthesis...water..... life... what keeps us alive... is just the will to live.... what drives our will, is that which makes us believe.... for me... as weird as this is... my point in life.... is finding the point of my life.... if I didn't live to find it... I never possibly could.... this is all getting very weird and philisophical... but it is waht I believe.... I believe everyone has a point in life..... and I believe that is why we live.... just to find it... nothing more that that... its pure.... and simple.... no rules except that which the natural world gives us... as in the beginning....
but that brings up the point: if the point of living has to do with god.... and it took millions of years for the modern man to find god... how could it?
its funny thinking about this stuff... I like to.... I change my mind every second which is why a lot of this stuff contradicts... I just like putting thoughts into words.... as I say this stuff.. I see how people can believe in god..... but I still see why people like me can't....
I suppose I should sum up this and just state where I've gotten from this massacre of words:
I never regret not believing in god, I think that living a life believing in god is just as sad as peter sees living a life without him, I never appreciated the cramming of religion in my childhood: maybe if my parents were more relgious, no? but then it comes down to... does the individual believe.. or does he belive because he is taught to believe? would peter have believed all this if he would have had my parents? this was n.b. the root of my headless chicken comment ...
in a way... isn't it funny how christianity spreads..... much like a virus..... instilled in one, it steathily moves to more..... its funny.... another natural rule of the world at work
sorry... the incoherency continues.... so does this post...... I really didnt get anywhere.. by thinking... I believe in coincidences... truly... things just happen.... those cause more things to happen.... hehe... thinking is fun
