You See Me Run..
Jul. 26th, 2007 01:58 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
transomwhiplassThought I'd check in--
The last few days have been hardly eventful. We've entered the one week countdown to studio final and with a pile of work ahead of us, it's been all moans and groans here. Frankly, I'm sick of the perfectionists whose pervasive whinings make studio conversations take 5x longer than necessary. It's been a problem since the beginning, but it's clear some people can never be satisfied.
Ihab is hard to understand, given. I wanted him to give us some guidelines as to what he expected. I didn't need him to spell it out, I just wanted suggestions about as specific as he expected to be grading. I didn't want to get slammed for not putting in something he would have seen as "obvious" but we would have never thought to have done.
Regardless, today he removed a substantial burden in the form of a 10 page paper by combining a rather ridiculously simple pizza assignment with a few extra and very specific requirements. I thought I was going to puke joy all over him until one person who shall remained unnamed was up in arms because he/she had already started putting together the final drawings for the piazza assignment and didn't want to have to modify it to fit his format.
I'm absolutely amazed by some people. The neurosis of trying to rush through everything, complete it to a state of perfection. I have to say, I have high standards for myself too but it doesn't come in the way between me and experiencing life. Girls have turned their studio sketchbook, what should be basically a visual journal of the day to day assignments into something of an obsessive masterwork--going back days later to retrace imperfect drawings, refer to photos, ink things, watercolor others. It makes me feel lazy till I realize that I did what was required and made me happy--I enjoy myself. They blew a fun assignment out of proportions and made it a ritual of personal torture. I'm not lazy, they are insane.
Consistently, this is a problem that I've faced in college. Am I really a slacker or is everyone wound up over nothing? I know I was a lot more vigilant about getting things done in high school. The Oregon/West Coast lifestyle definitely took an impact on my work ethic. I wouldn't say it's been for the worst. I'm sure my blood pressure is lower, I probably have lower cortisol levels which is also good for maintaining health. I've learned to relax. Sure, sometimes I overindulge but examples like not-to-be-mentioned's little freak out assure me that in many cases, before going balls-to-the-wall and trying to get something done, it's best to wait and see if the requirements are going to change or the necessity remains. It's a lesson for life as much as architecture school--maybe they never read "The Tortoise & The Hare" as children.
Even when we had all of that work to do between the piazza project, our four sites, studio, and the 10 page paper--I was not even really batting an eyelash about it. Sure, it sucked to have so much work to avoid/do but I knew it would get done. Maybe it's because I don't have grand plans to see 2500 more places while I'm here but really, it's just because I know what I'm capable of in the end. Amidst the cries of: "well I'll get it done, but it's all going to be shit!!" It made me wonder if my work was going to be shit and I realized, no.. I'm secure enough in my quality of work and I have enough confidence in everything I do that I would never call anything I did shit (barring extreme circumstances such as a pigeon actually excreting on a drawing--that actually happened to someone).
I learned in the first week of architecture school that being a perfectionist will drive you mad. Nothing is ever done. The only thing you can say is that something is "done enough." Given more time, something could always be improved. That's why we get to make money by renovating and doing adaptive reuse. It's a curse but it keeps us in business. I don't know why 90% of people here never learned that but I think they might need a remedial course in life given their actions here.
I don't want to give the impression that I think I'm better than everyone here. That's stupid. There are some extremely talented designers, scholars, and artists here. Everyone has their talents and everyone has their faults. I have my own issues. More than anything, this trip has been a rich people study. It's been a lot of things, but that's been probably one of the most unique parts of the experience.
---
I miss home. I don't miss things so much as I miss the absolute abstract of it all. I miss the feeling of being in a familiar environment, it's closest comparison being a hug. I miss laughter. I miss being able to read the things in my surroundings in entirety, rather than in partial half-translated Italian. I miss the sense of calm that I usually feel on a daily basis. I miss that warmth in the bottom of my stomach from being around people I love. I miss the butterflies I get when I'm excited with a conviction and can feel troops rallying behind me. I miss being listened to and listening to people I care about. I miss being "there." I miss being "needed."
It's been a hard and trying experience, the timing of this trip coinciding with my rediscovery of that notion of home. Home in the world and home in myself. I think my greatest fear is returning to realize that it's disappeared while I've been away. At least that's what my new set of nightmares have been dictating. I hate it when I wake up nauseous from things that didn't actually happen. Home's permanence is always going to be in question, I suppose, and I should get used to that. But it all just goes to show not matter how I grow or what I do, I'm always going to be an irrational worrier at times. It was bred into my character March 17th, 1989 I think.
More than anything, being here.. having that separation from my normal life has made me see it as a whole and appreciate the things I have done and the things I see myself doing. It's solidified, more or less, the things that I know I want versus the things I thought I wanted. I feel like I'm ready to go back with renewed vigor to work on attaining those goals I've realized in my core. This trip has been an out of body experience, like a death but with the ability to return. Is it a good or bad thing?
I have work to do.
The last few days have been hardly eventful. We've entered the one week countdown to studio final and with a pile of work ahead of us, it's been all moans and groans here. Frankly, I'm sick of the perfectionists whose pervasive whinings make studio conversations take 5x longer than necessary. It's been a problem since the beginning, but it's clear some people can never be satisfied.
Ihab is hard to understand, given. I wanted him to give us some guidelines as to what he expected. I didn't need him to spell it out, I just wanted suggestions about as specific as he expected to be grading. I didn't want to get slammed for not putting in something he would have seen as "obvious" but we would have never thought to have done.
Regardless, today he removed a substantial burden in the form of a 10 page paper by combining a rather ridiculously simple pizza assignment with a few extra and very specific requirements. I thought I was going to puke joy all over him until one person who shall remained unnamed was up in arms because he/she had already started putting together the final drawings for the piazza assignment and didn't want to have to modify it to fit his format.
I'm absolutely amazed by some people. The neurosis of trying to rush through everything, complete it to a state of perfection. I have to say, I have high standards for myself too but it doesn't come in the way between me and experiencing life. Girls have turned their studio sketchbook, what should be basically a visual journal of the day to day assignments into something of an obsessive masterwork--going back days later to retrace imperfect drawings, refer to photos, ink things, watercolor others. It makes me feel lazy till I realize that I did what was required and made me happy--I enjoy myself. They blew a fun assignment out of proportions and made it a ritual of personal torture. I'm not lazy, they are insane.
Consistently, this is a problem that I've faced in college. Am I really a slacker or is everyone wound up over nothing? I know I was a lot more vigilant about getting things done in high school. The Oregon/West Coast lifestyle definitely took an impact on my work ethic. I wouldn't say it's been for the worst. I'm sure my blood pressure is lower, I probably have lower cortisol levels which is also good for maintaining health. I've learned to relax. Sure, sometimes I overindulge but examples like not-to-be-mentioned's little freak out assure me that in many cases, before going balls-to-the-wall and trying to get something done, it's best to wait and see if the requirements are going to change or the necessity remains. It's a lesson for life as much as architecture school--maybe they never read "The Tortoise & The Hare" as children.
Even when we had all of that work to do between the piazza project, our four sites, studio, and the 10 page paper--I was not even really batting an eyelash about it. Sure, it sucked to have so much work to avoid/do but I knew it would get done. Maybe it's because I don't have grand plans to see 2500 more places while I'm here but really, it's just because I know what I'm capable of in the end. Amidst the cries of: "well I'll get it done, but it's all going to be shit!!" It made me wonder if my work was going to be shit and I realized, no.. I'm secure enough in my quality of work and I have enough confidence in everything I do that I would never call anything I did shit (barring extreme circumstances such as a pigeon actually excreting on a drawing--that actually happened to someone).
I learned in the first week of architecture school that being a perfectionist will drive you mad. Nothing is ever done. The only thing you can say is that something is "done enough." Given more time, something could always be improved. That's why we get to make money by renovating and doing adaptive reuse. It's a curse but it keeps us in business. I don't know why 90% of people here never learned that but I think they might need a remedial course in life given their actions here.
I don't want to give the impression that I think I'm better than everyone here. That's stupid. There are some extremely talented designers, scholars, and artists here. Everyone has their talents and everyone has their faults. I have my own issues. More than anything, this trip has been a rich people study. It's been a lot of things, but that's been probably one of the most unique parts of the experience.
---
I miss home. I don't miss things so much as I miss the absolute abstract of it all. I miss the feeling of being in a familiar environment, it's closest comparison being a hug. I miss laughter. I miss being able to read the things in my surroundings in entirety, rather than in partial half-translated Italian. I miss the sense of calm that I usually feel on a daily basis. I miss that warmth in the bottom of my stomach from being around people I love. I miss the butterflies I get when I'm excited with a conviction and can feel troops rallying behind me. I miss being listened to and listening to people I care about. I miss being "there." I miss being "needed."
It's been a hard and trying experience, the timing of this trip coinciding with my rediscovery of that notion of home. Home in the world and home in myself. I think my greatest fear is returning to realize that it's disappeared while I've been away. At least that's what my new set of nightmares have been dictating. I hate it when I wake up nauseous from things that didn't actually happen. Home's permanence is always going to be in question, I suppose, and I should get used to that. But it all just goes to show not matter how I grow or what I do, I'm always going to be an irrational worrier at times. It was bred into my character March 17th, 1989 I think.
More than anything, being here.. having that separation from my normal life has made me see it as a whole and appreciate the things I have done and the things I see myself doing. It's solidified, more or less, the things that I know I want versus the things I thought I wanted. I feel like I'm ready to go back with renewed vigor to work on attaining those goals I've realized in my core. This trip has been an out of body experience, like a death but with the ability to return. Is it a good or bad thing?
I have work to do.
