Passing the Time..

[transomwhiplass]

Leo Week of July 19th, 2007

How should we visualize the phase you're in? Are you coming back home after a harrowing journey to the abyss? Or are you about to launch a quest straight into the heart of the dawn's blinding promise? Paradoxically enough, Leo, you're doing both. You're coming and going at the same time. You're graduating from an ancient lesson and beginning a new course of study. Hints of the future are mingled with the last gasps of the past.



I kind of want my free will to not make sense one week so I can stop posting these.

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I haven't written in a little while because this week has been crazy trying to get ready for yesterday's pin-up. I've also been writing crazy numbers of emails to people so most of my journal-y type thinking came out in those. Regardless, the things that are going on here..

Chris has been an interesting partner, he doesn't quite work at the pace necessary but trying to make up for him has made me process faster, push things along, take a larger responsibility for my decisions, and overcompensate on confidence for my ideas. He's trying and I really appreciate that. He was good back up at pin-up, even though we weren't quite on the same page. Only two more weeks to go on this project. Last week flew by because our schedule was so packed. I'm absolutely positive the next couple weeks are going to disappear. Experiences like these make me so glad for APO for the things I've learned about working with people. I know I deal with situations completely differently than I ever would.

Last night Kelly was going on and on about how she liked the major because it was a bunch of people that "gave up on" the college experience into order to pursue this thing that they loved (though it sounds like she has had quite the college party experience). As she said that, I was so glad that, unlike her, I had that first year to grow my roots in college. I think it's completely possible to have the "college experience" and be an architecture major. However, it's weird, because the more people I talk to, the more I realize how little most of these people are involved. It just makes me really glad that I've been able to incorporate everything into my life from school, to friends, to community service, to university activities, and, yes, even parties. I can't see how being a studio drone for five years could ever be a desirable thing. Sure you might be really good at your craft, but what else do you know about the world? What else do you know about working with people? Architects have to work with hundreds of types of people, I can't imagine knowing nothing except this major. It's interesting with so much encompassed but it's not a life. This is not a jab at Kelly, more I'm just really grateful for the last three years no matter how difficult they've been sometimes.

Colin got back yesterday and I got to talk to him for a bit. He leaves again on Saturday so I probably won't talk to him until I'm in Houston. He sounds like he is doing pretty well and making a pretty penny for getting to drive a big truck and sit around. I'm glad he's keeping busy and getting to read a lot. He always says the "right things" encouraging me to have fun here and take in all the experiences. I can't fault him for being a smart cookie on that. I was able to give him a bunch of music recommendations to keep things fired up (well, not on fire, rather) so that was cool.

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I found out today that a friend from high school has cancer, large diffuse B-cell lymphoma. I don't know what to think or say but that's not really important. He's optimistic and under treatment. I can't even imagine what he must being going through, I'm just completely admirable of his amazing attitude.

It just all reemphasizes that the "carefree 20s" is a stupid myth that needs to be destroyed. When I was a kid, I thought this is when I'd know people getting married and doing that sort of thing--getting a jumpstart on life. Regardless of anything and everything, I never could have imagined that I would lose two friends in a year to cancer and diabetes. It's overwhelming, humbling, and earth shattering.

I don't know. It just kind of reminds me to live every day.

Comments

[fishnoise7.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry to hear that your friend has cancer, but I'm glad that he's got a positive attitude.

What you said about being reminded to live every day made me think of that James Dean quote Amelia liked.

Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today.