random question inspired by random vision[s] from my classes today...

[transomwhiplass]

So after staring around my classes today, I must ask:

what is up with sideburns?

Beards can be cute, patchiness can be endearing, 5 o'clock - 5 day old shadows can be hot...

I just don't understand sideburns. Are your cheeks cold or are you channeling Elvis?

please advise...

Comments

Advice

[unfj.livejournal.com]

As both a sideburn aficionado (sp) and of the male persuasion, I shall give you my perceptions in regards to this interesting, albeit random, question.

1. Sideburns are cool because, as you said, they make your cheeks warm. HURRAY!

2. Sideburns are cool because, unlike what you said, one may attempt to channel Joe Namath and/or Wolverine/Hugh Jackman. This is slightly cooler than channelling Elvis, even if he was (supposedly) The King.

3. Sideburns make a man look rustic and untamed. Men enjoy being untamed because it doesn't serve to remind him that he works, lives, learns and is bound into a gigantic system which, in fact, tames aforementioned man. In laymen's terms: "to stick it to the man", with the man representing a monolithic, soul-crushing authoritah figure.

4. Finally, the last reason is that sideburns are annoying to keep even in length in comparing one side to the other, regardless of how short they may be. Having the bushy, Chia Pet-like ironsides going simply down to the jawline makes shaving less of a chore as one only really has to regulate the width of such bushy sideburns.

Plus: it allows you to go incognito amongst a large mass of Chasidic ("Black Hat") Jews.

My question in rebuttal is how come sideburns aren't as "endearing" as the 5 o'clock, even when it is established that both 'dos require low, low maintenance and slackerhooddom?

Re: Advice

[sammehtosh.livejournal.com]

So.. I'm a bit shocked to "see" you here. I'll probably process that later. But if you are here and want to debate the merits of sideburns, I'm more than happy to engage your comments.

My comment was specifically that "patchiness can be endearing." As in "adorable, lovable in a childlike naive way." That was actually a throwback to a friend I had in high school who just couldn't shave properly in "the day" and would thus have the most random little hairs sticking out of his face. I called him Patches. I have a friend named Brian now who could be Patches the second. My two brothers are hitting puberty and and the new found fun of facial hair. I find it "endearing" because it's not about being low maintenance, but about the individuals who just haven't "figured it out" for whatever reason. It's innocent and sweet but basically unintentional.

As far as 5'o clocks go.. I blame musicians. They've pretty much got it down to an art form and in my fragile female mind, it's hard to disassociate good music (and thus unbridled adolescent lust) with good [facial] hair in general. While you're correct in saying in your saying that Wolverine is pretty badass (and yes, his sideburns are actually kind of wicked), he's Wolverine. Otherwise, I just think of musicians in bad style years: Jack White in Cold Mountain and Trent Reznor in the 90s. It said nothing about their music, but it was a questionable decision (since they both clean up pretty well).

As far as the rustic untamed argument... some women like "to stick it to the man" by letting it all grow out. While I believe it's a powerful statement against double standards and misogyny, there are other ways to make statements and are more conducive to being taken seriously (as opposed to being labeled some "'femi-nazi' hippy.")

If you want to talk about annoying upkeep, I can bore you with the joys of tweezers and eyebrows.

Oh, and it's getting freaking warm outside. Who needs warm cheeks?