Oy.. a survey.. >.> I'm in..

I see: My computer out of one eye, and big fog out of my other contact.. damn dry air ~_~
I need: Motivation.. I haven't been doing anything lately
I find: Things I forgot about due the next day..
I want: To stop.. just stop all the due dates, time, just so I can think for 5 minutes about everything going on..
I have: A permit and family.. used to be grades but even those have become 7 see-saws
I wish: It was last semester, I was lucky.. all stuff after lunch.. now everything is first and stuff I was good at isnt so easy anymore
I love: Reliable things
I hate: Anything without a focus
I miss: Everything.. no stress, laid-back, Fluffy.. now its an obsession of GPA and participation grades - what a joke..
I fear: Being abandoned
I feel: Serious
I hear: Running water from the sink
I smell: Fabric softener from my pajamas
I crave: Starch..
I wonder: What it feels to have nothing to do
I regret: Being mean to some people recently

When was the last time you...
Smiled: At a cashier.. she looked tired and I felt bad for her because she was sleeping untill I came in
Laughed: This evening at "Whose Line is it Anyway?"
Cried: Sunday when my violin teacher of 5 years fired me/ I stopped lessons with her
Bought something? : 3 Thumbprint cookies at French Gourmet after Volvo Guy dropped me off

Danced: With someone- 8th grade By myself- An interpetational dance of my brother's lethargy on Monday
Were sarcastic: Oh.. definetly sometime today
Kissed someone: N/A
Talked to an ex: Closest thing to an ex? Last year..
Watched your favorite movie: This weekend.. Godfather marathon, or well.. I saw LOR:FOR a while ago
Had a nightmare: Last week, I killed Opie with a car

Last book you read: The Alarming History of Medicine for my paper
Last movie you saw: City Slickers
Last song you heard: My Sacrifice - Creed, I dunno.. Volvo Guy had a CD or something
Last thing you had to drink: Coca-Cola w/ too much CO2
Last time you showered: 30 minutes ago
Last thing you ate: A handful of cinnamon toast crunch
Smoke?: Haha.. a cuban cigar.. SERIOUSLY.. it was my first time, didn't inhale: probably would have died.. my dad bought it in the Netherlands.. lmao
Do drugs?: Never..
Have sex?: Lol.. no.. I go to St. Agnes
Sleep with stuffed animals?: The only damn thing I sleep with is my notes because I seem to fall asleep studying.. imagine that..
Live in the moment?: Yes.. its the only way I can..
Have a dream that keeps coming back?: Nope
Play an instrument?: Violin..
Believe there is life on other planets: Definetly, in an infinitely expanding universe, there is a rational chance of other life.. scientific ratios point to yes, but whose do say they arent on the other side of the universe
Remember your first love?: Yes
Still love her/him?: Not really
Read the newspaper?: Monday.. a "Crossroads" bashing review
Have any gay or lesbian friends?: Yeah.. not many.. but a couple
Believe in miracles?: Yes.. nothing like those magical open labs that seem to occur.. though.. my karma is punishing me this semester
Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever?: Yeah why not
Consider yourself tolerant of others?: Usually, depends on how much I have to do and how much they are ticking me off
Consider love a mistake?: No..
Like the taste of alcohol?: Not usually..
Have a favorite candy?: Blow Pops & Gobstoppers
Believe in astrology?: Haha.. well.. as a Leo I supposed to be really extroverted
Believe in God?: Not recently..
Believe in magic?: Nope..
Pray?: Actively no.. put on the appearance of doing so? every day
Talk to strangers who IM you?: Don't seem to get a lot of those
Wear hats?: No.. I am not a hat person
Have any piercings?: Ears..
Have any tattoos?: Not to date..
Hate yourself?: No.. I never hate myself, sometimes I have disagreements and get angry at myself because they can't seem to stop procrastinating (Sammeh) Its not my fault your a dumbass ((V-Woman) If you were more veritas we wouldn't have this problem so often T.T *minor scuffle* (Sarita) OWW! Somebody has their elbow in my eye!! x_o
Have an obsession?: Well.. not an obsession
Have a secret crush?: HA.. everyone thinks I like Volvo guy .. I don't think I do.. I might talk about him recently but I can't help it.. I talk about everything and he drives me part of the way home everyday... >_< *flails arms*
Collect anything?: Japanese made, Cherry Blossom graphics... Sakura *_*
Have (a) best friend(s)?: Hm.. I don't know about a best friend, maybe in the past but not really..
Wish on stars?: No.. lol.. funny story.. I used to think my dead hamster had its own star and I used to talk to the star before going to sleep every night.. geez.. I was a messed up kid..
Have any bad habits?: Procrastination.. it is my epic flaw... kinda.. I know I am doing it.. but I continue to do it
Care about looks?: Whose? Depends, If I have nothing and I mean N-O-T-H-I-N-G.. maybe on myself.. not on friends.. and on guys: well.. yes.. they cant be too pretty, maybe rugged..
Believe in witches?: No..
Believe in Satan?: Not really..
Believe in ghosts?: Sometimes..

I dunno.. haha.. look at my survey it is so serious.. blah.. x.X..

Short post, hopefully.. just to tag on apart from survey

Mizu: Have I been giving you shify eyes? I am sorry if I have.. maybe I have with this whole stupid ride arrangement, I dont get to stay after school anymore and miss the old adventures also I guess with my whole preoccupation I have been isolating myself and I keep drifting farther and farther away from people.. I just can't seem to get in sync with the present right now I am just stuck in the past... I guess.. I am having a whole breakdown right now.. not serious.. but it would make for a painfully long post if I analyzed everything.. so I am not going to.. basically out of all that: I guess I am feeling kinda left out and thats nobody's fault because I am doing it to myself so don't worry to much.. okie?
Hm.. Rachel (if you end up reading this): Congrats to you on your diagnosis and I hope you see that you are choosing olympics over your paper and personally I can't apply anything from Ice-luging to Macbeth
Steph-Chan: I wish I was like you and didn't care about getting in trouble.. running to get a water bottle during announcements, making fun of Coach Debrowski behind his back, I just have a whole "need-to-please" concept .. I don't take many risks and I let people walk all over me.. I can see it, I will be driving soon and I will probably never be able to take my right-of-way, ever.. what a sad sad little life.. and because of this.. I cant talk to adults besides my parents without verging on tears, you guys never see it, but for the love of god, I was talking to Ms. Miller about a schedule problem and I almost got choked up, I hide from my algebra teacher after I make a bad grade, and I bawled for an hour after my violin teacher fired me.. I need to take some kinda class or something.. blah..
Any One/Every One: Haha.. no messages for you..