transomwhiplass

"Best of Will Ferrell 2" was total crap. He did really good skits, I can't believe they exhausted all of his good ones on the first one. Oh well. The only funny skit was the opening one where he was George Bush listing those on his "axis of evil" which included "Iran, Iraq, the Economy, one of the Koreas, Dick Cheney, Evil Kineval, the original countries of the axis of evil but not Dr. Evil - because he made him laugh." Oh well.

I'm done with my holiday social engagements. Now I can lock myself in my room and go insane working on college applications and my architecture portfolio. Tomorrow I plan to contruct the manger scene out of my excess college mail. MWAHAHAHA. Its going to be totally scary in a sacra-delicious way!! I guess that sammeh-ism doesn't really work there, it only really applied to Steph's papal cookie.

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My day was interesting. Mary's birthday. Congratulations Mary, you have made it to the threshold of adulthood. Only one more step and it will be into the world of porn and cigarettes. I welcome you to this amazing but very not exciting place. So what, you can legally see an R movie. That is about it... oh and being tried as an adult, that's always a kicker.

Did you know they made Mr. Bean an animated series?? Its on PBS right now, bizarre. Sorry - random.

Today was an odd day. I felt incredibly out of place today - just.... foreign in my own skin. Things really weren't right. Then I realized, they haven't been for a long time. It wasn't so much of an out-of-body experience as it was just a completely lost & terrifying feeling.

I want to be honest. I want to come out with everything I really feel, but I know what I say will come back and hurt me. I'm so tired of this. I hate dancing around what I want to say, its pathetic and making me sick inside. I've been holding back on this for awhile because I think it will hurt someone - I can't bear to do that, but it kills me everyday I can't. I've tried to let it out but I'm horrible at being discreet. What I have said has already haunted me. I am just going to say it right now, this is so stupid.

[Edit] I chickened out. I couldn't do it. I can't write it. The risk is just too high. I can't even bring myself to go in to it. I know this will just keep tearing at my insides but the risk of letting it out is too great to me.

Let him go before he hurts you.

I am a coward.

I'm going to end this before I hurt someone.