I do not know how to respond to this..
Oct. 7th, 2003 11:41 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
transomwhiplass"I havent been to orchestra in SO long. Partly because it is very painful for me to attempt to appreciate some of its members, yet there are is someone that i am longing to be friends with again in there."
This is really upsetting me right now. I think my mind is so overextending right now with.. well, everything that I cannot comprehend this right now in logical way, only an overemotional one which will probably start bawling for "good ol' days," that lacked feuding, editing, Mr. H, Ms. Smith, parking spaces, tongues, flatworms, grades, extensive reading that teachers allow to get put off, multiple versions of Hamlet, the self righteous, restless nights, my lack of outright bitchiness and insensitivity, etc. This hypersensitivity... its really getting hindering. Everything bad that happens makes me want to:
a) Cry until I dehydrate myself
b) Have a temper tantrum and kill everyone with the shockwaves of my screeching
Fun stuff, kids. I obviously have "too much on plate" right now.. I don't know how to tackle it, I don't know how to put some of it back, I don't know who I want to ask to split it with. I think I am O.C. as Laura says. The problem is, I get OC about things people don't care notice. I don't get OC about grades, papers, homework, academia.. I get OC about newspaper spacing, typos, pens for signing the NHS book, cutting cake, typos in the Mass program. Stuff no one in their right mind even thinks about. The arbitrary details of the world.. yup.. I'm in the buisness of perfecting those. There is a reason they are arbitrary. Niki tried to take my program because I was giggling in my hysterics that I had fucked up so bad "TEE HEE.. WE PUT LAMB OF GOD DOWN 3 TIMES!" "WE ARE STANDING BECAUSE I FORGOT TO WRITE 'PLEASE SIT' IN THE PROGRAM.. THIS IS ALL MY FAULT AND ALL I CAN DO IS LAUGH IN TERROR." Laura tells me to chill out. Everyone is telling me I need a mental health day.. but I can't afford one. I will get too far behind.
Wow. Double post, guys.. thats awesome.
-----
Apparently Steph will be anti-homecoming with me. How random is that? I thought she was like the ultime HC gung-hoer, now Niki is going.. but she isn't. The world has flipped, hell has frozen over. Anyway, Mark came to lunch.. you could cut the tension with a knife, I tell you. Actually no. It was relatively full of mirth (sorry.. keep reading), as I read Hamlet and could NOT stop laughing the WHOLE day at the line "Affection? Pooh! You speak like a green girl." If this line makes sense to you, out of context, you are a strange person. A flat worm (as later diagnosed by Ms. Hamerlin) was crawling by my foot, it was dubbed "Laertes, my first born". It was amusing.
----
Amor Macula?
----
I'm still crazy and out of control. Not to mention the car is all screwed up because mom refuses to get it inspected until the sticker is one month expired. EXCUSE ME! I could get a ticket because of her obstinance, meanwhile..
- The break and ABS and some other light have been on for the last few weeks: my breaks might fail.. that is sure cheerful!!
- The "Service Engine Soon" light is on. Oh joy!
- The lights/radio flicker and the battery light came on. Well howdy doo!
GRR.
-----
My frustration is coming out in waves. I'm going to bed because I am definetly tired and I cannot think of anything better to do that just go into a coma about now.
Night.
This is really upsetting me right now. I think my mind is so overextending right now with.. well, everything that I cannot comprehend this right now in logical way, only an overemotional one which will probably start bawling for "good ol' days," that lacked feuding, editing, Mr. H, Ms. Smith, parking spaces, tongues, flatworms, grades, extensive reading that teachers allow to get put off, multiple versions of Hamlet, the self righteous, restless nights, my lack of outright bitchiness and insensitivity, etc. This hypersensitivity... its really getting hindering. Everything bad that happens makes me want to:
a) Cry until I dehydrate myself
b) Have a temper tantrum and kill everyone with the shockwaves of my screeching
Fun stuff, kids. I obviously have "too much on plate" right now.. I don't know how to tackle it, I don't know how to put some of it back, I don't know who I want to ask to split it with. I think I am O.C. as Laura says. The problem is, I get OC about things people don't care notice. I don't get OC about grades, papers, homework, academia.. I get OC about newspaper spacing, typos, pens for signing the NHS book, cutting cake, typos in the Mass program. Stuff no one in their right mind even thinks about. The arbitrary details of the world.. yup.. I'm in the buisness of perfecting those. There is a reason they are arbitrary. Niki tried to take my program because I was giggling in my hysterics that I had fucked up so bad "TEE HEE.. WE PUT LAMB OF GOD DOWN 3 TIMES!" "WE ARE STANDING BECAUSE I FORGOT TO WRITE 'PLEASE SIT' IN THE PROGRAM.. THIS IS ALL MY FAULT AND ALL I CAN DO IS LAUGH IN TERROR." Laura tells me to chill out. Everyone is telling me I need a mental health day.. but I can't afford one. I will get too far behind.
Wow. Double post, guys.. thats awesome.
-----
Apparently Steph will be anti-homecoming with me. How random is that? I thought she was like the ultime HC gung-hoer, now Niki is going.. but she isn't. The world has flipped, hell has frozen over. Anyway, Mark came to lunch.. you could cut the tension with a knife, I tell you. Actually no. It was relatively full of mirth (sorry.. keep reading), as I read Hamlet and could NOT stop laughing the WHOLE day at the line "Affection? Pooh! You speak like a green girl." If this line makes sense to you, out of context, you are a strange person. A flat worm (as later diagnosed by Ms. Hamerlin) was crawling by my foot, it was dubbed "Laertes, my first born". It was amusing.
----
Amor Macula?
----
I'm still crazy and out of control. Not to mention the car is all screwed up because mom refuses to get it inspected until the sticker is one month expired. EXCUSE ME! I could get a ticket because of her obstinance, meanwhile..
- The break and ABS and some other light have been on for the last few weeks: my breaks might fail.. that is sure cheerful!!
- The "Service Engine Soon" light is on. Oh joy!
- The lights/radio flicker and the battery light came on. Well howdy doo!
GRR.
-----
My frustration is coming out in waves. I'm going to bed because I am definetly tired and I cannot think of anything better to do that just go into a coma about now.
Night.
