Well its getting late...
Feb. 9th, 2003 02:13 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
transomwhiplassI haven't updated in a monsterous long time. I have no idea why. I haven't been really *busy* persay, but honestly I can't remember.
I can't remember a lot of things lately. I was thinking about it the other day, my childhood has become like some story I heard from a friend about their cousin. It doesn't seem like it was mine, I can't remember it, that little girl; she isn't me, I have grown so far away from her. I wish I could meet her and just understand who she was, but everything now is so different. I wish I could remember her story better. But yeah, its depressing, I've lost my childhood at the ripe age of 16. Yikes.
Other stuff has brought me down, I don't know why.
My aunt and uncle are here with us for the weekend, its been ok, we've gone to do things and eaten at good restaurants. My dad and uncle look a lot alike, I never noticed it before. You can really tell they are brothers, I wish I could have known them growing up. Its a really great feeling that rushes over me whenever they just start laughing their asses off about something that happened "way back when."
Its so cold in my house, my fingers are near frozen.
Today I finished 2 LJ layouts, mine, and this other girl's (the_shopaholic).. I'm quite pleased with both. I think mine is dorky though. Read what my links say and you will totally agree. I'm working on this Orlando Bloom one right now for someone else, I sort of have an idea for it, but I'm not so sure. I've cut out like.. a dozen pictures and I'm just fiddling (as I always do) till I get a spark. Ah.. inspiration is a lengthy process. That's why I'm such an insomniac; its the combination of insomnia, desperation, and totally confusion that fuses my ideas. I like the night, I'm generally the only one up, its just me, myself, and I. I do lots of thinking.
I'm TOTALLY FREEZING MY ASS OFF!!! Why the heck is our house soooo collllld.... ;_;!
In very very past news, I got my class rank, I was VERY disappointed.. but my mom called Ms. Skelly to find out how far I was away from the next grouping, it turns out less that a tenth of a point. LMFAO.. its so my fault, my GPA dropped like.. a few hundreths. Whatever, I was soooo close to an A in Pre-Cal, what a waste. That stupid final was such a cluster fuck. All I needed was an A.. to get an A. Ack.. oh well. I always B my way through Latin. Yargh. Oh, and don't get me started on AP English.. I was like... ready to go to church (haha.. not quite) because I got a SOLID B.. I was like... hoping for a high C. That was a miracle.
Ms. Fritsch thinks I should try for AP Government next year. I have the average (like a 96.. history is soooo durrrrr.. especially our class). I just need to participate more. Hm.. I don't understand participation. You know, that is the same exact thing Dr. Novo told me when I wanted to move to H English. I needed to participate more. People don't understand how much my introvertedness is like a plague. I wish I could just cure it and be all happy and frolick-y like the rest of the so-called "normal people". Forever I have this lingering memory of health class, when Sr. Jane was talking to us about personality stuff. She had all the introverts come up and "discuss what we would do if she gave us Friday off of school," we all sort of stood around, and toed the ground. It was humiliating; we were on display. I felt like I was behind glass and she was reading the sign on our cage to her tour group. "Here are the introverts, look how they do not socialize with eachother. Note their nervous, twitchy behavior." Then the extrovers (90% of the class get up) and they excitedly ramble about going to the mall and buying shoes, etc. etc. We had like, the yuppiest of the yuppy girls in our health class. WHATEVER! BACK TO THE POINT. I can't help my personality type, I can't help it that I don't feel like contributing to the POINTLESS conversation we have in class. Our class is so stupid, one day we spent like 10 minutes arguing over the existance of buffalo burgers. HRM.. WOW.. IM SURE DISCUSSING THAT QUALIFIES ME FOR AP. I don't distract the class, I maintain my average, I understand every frikkin' word in our stupid book. I'm so frustrated. If she called on me with a HISTORY RELATED QUESTION, I would answer her. But as far as volunteering to participate in class discussion of buffalo burgers and Hell island that she visited on her vacation, uhm.. I don't think so.
I'm really tired. I'm going to go crawl into the fetal position and sleep for 12 hours.
I can't remember a lot of things lately. I was thinking about it the other day, my childhood has become like some story I heard from a friend about their cousin. It doesn't seem like it was mine, I can't remember it, that little girl; she isn't me, I have grown so far away from her. I wish I could meet her and just understand who she was, but everything now is so different. I wish I could remember her story better. But yeah, its depressing, I've lost my childhood at the ripe age of 16. Yikes.
Other stuff has brought me down, I don't know why.
My aunt and uncle are here with us for the weekend, its been ok, we've gone to do things and eaten at good restaurants. My dad and uncle look a lot alike, I never noticed it before. You can really tell they are brothers, I wish I could have known them growing up. Its a really great feeling that rushes over me whenever they just start laughing their asses off about something that happened "way back when."
Its so cold in my house, my fingers are near frozen.
Today I finished 2 LJ layouts, mine, and this other girl's (the_shopaholic).. I'm quite pleased with both. I think mine is dorky though. Read what my links say and you will totally agree. I'm working on this Orlando Bloom one right now for someone else, I sort of have an idea for it, but I'm not so sure. I've cut out like.. a dozen pictures and I'm just fiddling (as I always do) till I get a spark. Ah.. inspiration is a lengthy process. That's why I'm such an insomniac; its the combination of insomnia, desperation, and totally confusion that fuses my ideas. I like the night, I'm generally the only one up, its just me, myself, and I. I do lots of thinking.
I'm TOTALLY FREEZING MY ASS OFF!!! Why the heck is our house soooo collllld.... ;_;!
In very very past news, I got my class rank, I was VERY disappointed.. but my mom called Ms. Skelly to find out how far I was away from the next grouping, it turns out less that a tenth of a point. LMFAO.. its so my fault, my GPA dropped like.. a few hundreths. Whatever, I was soooo close to an A in Pre-Cal, what a waste. That stupid final was such a cluster fuck. All I needed was an A.. to get an A. Ack.. oh well. I always B my way through Latin. Yargh. Oh, and don't get me started on AP English.. I was like... ready to go to church (haha.. not quite) because I got a SOLID B.. I was like... hoping for a high C. That was a miracle.
Ms. Fritsch thinks I should try for AP Government next year. I have the average (like a 96.. history is soooo durrrrr.. especially our class). I just need to participate more. Hm.. I don't understand participation. You know, that is the same exact thing Dr. Novo told me when I wanted to move to H English. I needed to participate more. People don't understand how much my introvertedness is like a plague. I wish I could just cure it and be all happy and frolick-y like the rest of the so-called "normal people". Forever I have this lingering memory of health class, when Sr. Jane was talking to us about personality stuff. She had all the introverts come up and "discuss what we would do if she gave us Friday off of school," we all sort of stood around, and toed the ground. It was humiliating; we were on display. I felt like I was behind glass and she was reading the sign on our cage to her tour group. "Here are the introverts, look how they do not socialize with eachother. Note their nervous, twitchy behavior." Then the extrovers (90% of the class get up) and they excitedly ramble about going to the mall and buying shoes, etc. etc. We had like, the yuppiest of the yuppy girls in our health class. WHATEVER! BACK TO THE POINT. I can't help my personality type, I can't help it that I don't feel like contributing to the POINTLESS conversation we have in class. Our class is so stupid, one day we spent like 10 minutes arguing over the existance of buffalo burgers. HRM.. WOW.. IM SURE DISCUSSING THAT QUALIFIES ME FOR AP. I don't distract the class, I maintain my average, I understand every frikkin' word in our stupid book. I'm so frustrated. If she called on me with a HISTORY RELATED QUESTION, I would answer her. But as far as volunteering to participate in class discussion of buffalo burgers and Hell island that she visited on her vacation, uhm.. I don't think so.
I'm really tired. I'm going to go crawl into the fetal position and sleep for 12 hours.
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no subject
later! love *belle*
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i'd forgotten about that.
but i remember her saying how she tells the teachers to respect the introverts and their ways.. lol.
-emma