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transomwhiplassThere is someone I'm supposed to call but I don't wanna...
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Here is a whole bunch of assorted thoughts I've had, read them if you want. Some are long, I just figured I get them out in writing so they woud get off my mind. Lighten' the load. Heh.
I've been staying up Über-late... but not on the computer. How funny is that? n_n In fact, these last two days have been record lows. School is coming closer and closer, I don't know how to make the most of this time of so that I will actually be prepared to go back. Everyday I near crapping my pants thinking about the report card that might be plaguing my mailbox. I'm to freaked out to go out there at check.
I guess I should get back to this time zone (though I never left it), I sleep at 3 wake at 2. It's messed up. I feel all disheveled and too tired to do things. Even if I sleep 13 hours, I could still sleep some more. Sleeping 8 feels the same as 4. I'm always tired these days, and it sucks in class when something muy important is being said and I sleep through it. Try Ms. Tallman's entire class. I hate that class. I've yet to read the book (do we have to read the whole thing?).
My eyesight is going to crap. The other day my contacts were bothering me so I went the day in glasses. They aren't my most updated prescription (like contacts) but they weren't far off. I was wearing them and things at like 20 feet-ish were blurry. Ugh. I hate going to all doctors.. all doctors, even just the eye-doctor. My vision has gotten totally sucky (thanks mom & dad!). I had perfect eyesight for the first 10 years of my life. I got glasses in the 7th grade, but I was only supposed to wear them to class, which I barely remembered to do. I don't think I wore them much 8th grade either. I got to SAA and realized I couldn't read Ms. Crank's overheads from across the room or Mr. Buckley's chalkboard writing. I dug up the glasses and broke them that year. Haha, I got contacts which again I was to lazy to put in some mornings. One day I went to school with one contact, better that nothing. I just read stuff with one eye. Haha, to be fish. Then, I started talking to this genious who got me into the habit of wearing my contacts days and days in a row. I think I screwed myself. I'm so blind. Well that was an interesting tangent, NOT.. sorry. I just woke up.
I'm ready for my grandma to go home. We used to be really close and stuff, but everytime she comes I just can't stand her more and more. My sister is a constant bitch, whenever there is peace, she feels the NEED to start a war. She starts poking me, pinching me, calling me names. What I try to do in life is teach my siblings that if they are going to provoke mindless crap like that, they are going to pay for it. Anthony and John have pretty much learned not to mess with me, but more and more they are giving me a hard time. I don't know if its that they are watching Nora get to me or that they are becoming teenagers and seeing me as more of an equal. I don't know but I've had to bring kickass up a few notches in the last month or so, maybe its just because we are seeing eachother more as we aren't at school all day. ANYWAY.. my grandma is here, and she sees me retaliate (the only way in my house to stop someone hurting you is to hurt them worse and get away while you can), which I have TOTALLY toned down for her sake, to usually a quick smack at the nearest limb and a looming stare. SHE FREAKS OUT at me, and acts like I'm the evil child. Even though NORA would keep hitting me and she would sit there at let me have. Just like my dad does. My dad is a constant ass these days, he has like, become a child. He is always rough-housing with my brothers, if you poke him in the least of aggressive behaviors, he starts like wrestling with you. Ugh. Plus he has just been a growing jackass in the last 3 years, about my grades and such. You can't tell my grandma anything, she thinks he's perfect and you are horrible for lying to her about her perfect son. I hate it when people are disapointed with me; either they flat out say it, or have that look of disgust on their face. Everyday I get the: closed-eyes-shake-head-back-and-forth. I used to feel dead inside when she did it to me. Now I've just become dead to it. She has had perfect health for a long time. She had to get hearing aids recently though, I'm worried about her memory a lot now too. Even though she has the hearing aids, she never seems to hear anything from over a foot and a half away. I had like... caesar salad 3 days in arrow on vacation, then she asks me, "so do you like that? have you had that before?" Maybe she doesn't pay attention to what I order/eat, I don't know. Yup so that's grandma.
Anthony has been weird lately. On vacation we went down to this place where they had s'mores at a certain time. My mom wanted one so she roasted my marshmallow for me and got it made in to the actually s'more for me. Anthony said something like, "have you mommy make that for yoooooou?" I wasn't really bothered by that, but I grabbed his hand really fast, squeezed his knuckles and smiled, which I have done before. It means: haha, very funny. don't do that again. Well, he got pissed off and with his other hand pounded my head twice with his fist. That was totally uncool, especially since there were like, 20 under 12 year-olds running around. I let go of his hand and grabbed the first available piece of hair(which there is an abundance, he has more hair than my mom) and dragged him away from the children. I didn't as much drag as lead, I felt small resistance by his head the whole trip. I got him away from the kids and he attacked my torso. I elbowed his head, hitting my funny bone. While I was stunned he kicked my shin, hard. I was bruised, hurt, he had basically beat me by getting the last whack. So we walked away from each other, wary of the other's potential to beat at any second. He got a certain distance away from my mom and the courtyard was empty. He started running, I caught him and jumped on him. I think I kicked him, I don't remember. I just delivered hurt and ran inside and hid. I know I sound evil, and I'm sure I shocked someone with how it works in my house. Beating up my younger siblings. We don't beat eachother up, we usually just smack eachother. I don't like getting hurt by them, I don't like them thinking they are better than me. They don't like it either. Its a food chain at my house, survival of the fittest. You have to find a niche and run with it. I've had the best grades, anthony is oldest boy (he has other various small talents), john is the charasmatic video-game lover who might actually become a typical teenage boy, nora is the youngest, therefore defined the most weak and helpless. Even though she is taller and weighs more than john. She smacks hard and does it with this look of sheer wildness in her eyes. Soo where are my parents in all this, they just let us beat on eachother? No, they usually break up fights, the get angry at everyone they don't care who one, who started it. Like normal parents. But you can get away with a lot in 15 seconds while someone reacts to what they see. I guess its childish for me a junior to be competing in this sibling rivalry against a 13, 11, and 9 year old. To theirs and my credit, they are freakishly strong for their ages. I am also freakishly immature when I am comfortable with my surroundings. People know that, I sink my siblings level. Heh. We still like eachother as brothers and sisters, generally. Hee hee. I don't think we have ever actually seriously bruised another. The worst thing, is john bit anthony's arm and the teeth marks were there for like 2 months. It was an upper arm injury, easily covered by a shirt. We don't abuse eachother and need to be seperated or need our parents trained, I think you have to live in a house with 4 kids not spread far apart to understand. To understand my situation, you have to be the oldest. I think. Ah, the joys of growing up.
I think that's enough. I should go read now.
=====
Here is a whole bunch of assorted thoughts I've had, read them if you want. Some are long, I just figured I get them out in writing so they woud get off my mind. Lighten' the load. Heh.
I've been staying up Über-late... but not on the computer. How funny is that? n_n In fact, these last two days have been record lows. School is coming closer and closer, I don't know how to make the most of this time of so that I will actually be prepared to go back. Everyday I near crapping my pants thinking about the report card that might be plaguing my mailbox. I'm to freaked out to go out there at check.
I guess I should get back to this time zone (though I never left it), I sleep at 3 wake at 2. It's messed up. I feel all disheveled and too tired to do things. Even if I sleep 13 hours, I could still sleep some more. Sleeping 8 feels the same as 4. I'm always tired these days, and it sucks in class when something muy important is being said and I sleep through it. Try Ms. Tallman's entire class. I hate that class. I've yet to read the book (do we have to read the whole thing?).
My eyesight is going to crap. The other day my contacts were bothering me so I went the day in glasses. They aren't my most updated prescription (like contacts) but they weren't far off. I was wearing them and things at like 20 feet-ish were blurry. Ugh. I hate going to all doctors.. all doctors, even just the eye-doctor. My vision has gotten totally sucky (thanks mom & dad!). I had perfect eyesight for the first 10 years of my life. I got glasses in the 7th grade, but I was only supposed to wear them to class, which I barely remembered to do. I don't think I wore them much 8th grade either. I got to SAA and realized I couldn't read Ms. Crank's overheads from across the room or Mr. Buckley's chalkboard writing. I dug up the glasses and broke them that year. Haha, I got contacts which again I was to lazy to put in some mornings. One day I went to school with one contact, better that nothing. I just read stuff with one eye. Haha, to be fish. Then, I started talking to this genious who got me into the habit of wearing my contacts days and days in a row. I think I screwed myself. I'm so blind. Well that was an interesting tangent, NOT.. sorry. I just woke up.
I'm ready for my grandma to go home. We used to be really close and stuff, but everytime she comes I just can't stand her more and more. My sister is a constant bitch, whenever there is peace, she feels the NEED to start a war. She starts poking me, pinching me, calling me names. What I try to do in life is teach my siblings that if they are going to provoke mindless crap like that, they are going to pay for it. Anthony and John have pretty much learned not to mess with me, but more and more they are giving me a hard time. I don't know if its that they are watching Nora get to me or that they are becoming teenagers and seeing me as more of an equal. I don't know but I've had to bring kickass up a few notches in the last month or so, maybe its just because we are seeing eachother more as we aren't at school all day. ANYWAY.. my grandma is here, and she sees me retaliate (the only way in my house to stop someone hurting you is to hurt them worse and get away while you can), which I have TOTALLY toned down for her sake, to usually a quick smack at the nearest limb and a looming stare. SHE FREAKS OUT at me, and acts like I'm the evil child. Even though NORA would keep hitting me and she would sit there at let me have. Just like my dad does. My dad is a constant ass these days, he has like, become a child. He is always rough-housing with my brothers, if you poke him in the least of aggressive behaviors, he starts like wrestling with you. Ugh. Plus he has just been a growing jackass in the last 3 years, about my grades and such. You can't tell my grandma anything, she thinks he's perfect and you are horrible for lying to her about her perfect son. I hate it when people are disapointed with me; either they flat out say it, or have that look of disgust on their face. Everyday I get the: closed-eyes-shake-head-back-and-forth. I used to feel dead inside when she did it to me. Now I've just become dead to it. She has had perfect health for a long time. She had to get hearing aids recently though, I'm worried about her memory a lot now too. Even though she has the hearing aids, she never seems to hear anything from over a foot and a half away. I had like... caesar salad 3 days in arrow on vacation, then she asks me, "so do you like that? have you had that before?" Maybe she doesn't pay attention to what I order/eat, I don't know. Yup so that's grandma.
Anthony has been weird lately. On vacation we went down to this place where they had s'mores at a certain time. My mom wanted one so she roasted my marshmallow for me and got it made in to the actually s'more for me. Anthony said something like, "have you mommy make that for yoooooou?" I wasn't really bothered by that, but I grabbed his hand really fast, squeezed his knuckles and smiled, which I have done before. It means: haha, very funny. don't do that again. Well, he got pissed off and with his other hand pounded my head twice with his fist. That was totally uncool, especially since there were like, 20 under 12 year-olds running around. I let go of his hand and grabbed the first available piece of hair(which there is an abundance, he has more hair than my mom) and dragged him away from the children. I didn't as much drag as lead, I felt small resistance by his head the whole trip. I got him away from the kids and he attacked my torso. I elbowed his head, hitting my funny bone. While I was stunned he kicked my shin, hard. I was bruised, hurt, he had basically beat me by getting the last whack. So we walked away from each other, wary of the other's potential to beat at any second. He got a certain distance away from my mom and the courtyard was empty. He started running, I caught him and jumped on him. I think I kicked him, I don't remember. I just delivered hurt and ran inside and hid. I know I sound evil, and I'm sure I shocked someone with how it works in my house. Beating up my younger siblings. We don't beat eachother up, we usually just smack eachother. I don't like getting hurt by them, I don't like them thinking they are better than me. They don't like it either. Its a food chain at my house, survival of the fittest. You have to find a niche and run with it. I've had the best grades, anthony is oldest boy (he has other various small talents), john is the charasmatic video-game lover who might actually become a typical teenage boy, nora is the youngest, therefore defined the most weak and helpless. Even though she is taller and weighs more than john. She smacks hard and does it with this look of sheer wildness in her eyes. Soo where are my parents in all this, they just let us beat on eachother? No, they usually break up fights, the get angry at everyone they don't care who one, who started it. Like normal parents. But you can get away with a lot in 15 seconds while someone reacts to what they see. I guess its childish for me a junior to be competing in this sibling rivalry against a 13, 11, and 9 year old. To theirs and my credit, they are freakishly strong for their ages. I am also freakishly immature when I am comfortable with my surroundings. People know that, I sink my siblings level. Heh. We still like eachother as brothers and sisters, generally. Hee hee. I don't think we have ever actually seriously bruised another. The worst thing, is john bit anthony's arm and the teeth marks were there for like 2 months. It was an upper arm injury, easily covered by a shirt. We don't abuse eachother and need to be seperated or need our parents trained, I think you have to live in a house with 4 kids not spread far apart to understand. To understand my situation, you have to be the oldest. I think. Ah, the joys of growing up.
I think that's enough. I should go read now.
